time to kill the subway monkey

On my ever-growing list of things I hate, the monkey in the Subway Fresh Energy commercials ranks somewhere near the top. For some unexplained reason, Subway has been using the little creature for the past several years as a way of pushing the “healthy menu” options. But I can’t stand him and every time I see his beady little eyes at the start of an ad, I reach for the remote so fast, that I’m sure I’m setting a speed record of sorts.

I wish I had been in the room as part of a focus group when that commerical was first screened. People would still be sitting around listening to why I hate that monkey and how I fly into a fit of anger when I see him. And while I can’t pinpoint just one reason why I hate him so much, you can be sure that “annoying”, “ugly” and “worthy of having his head smashed in” might come up if I was asked.

Then there’s the obvious question that nobody can seem to answer: WHAT DOES A MONKEY HAVE TO TO WITH SUBWAY?  Last time I checked, monkeys throw their own crap at each other and people. Do you really want to send that kind of message when talking about “eating fresh”?

Without a word of a lie, I have stopped going to Subway because of these commercials.  The monkey is reason enough to make me want to go somewhere else or die of starvation.  That’s how annoying he is.

So please, Subway, from a girl who has enjoyed your subs for the better part of the last 20 years, it’s time to kill off the monkey.



  1. One or two questions come to mind… Are they trying to say that they use monkey meat in their subs or that they no longer use monkey meat? The commercials are so irritating that they make “Jarrod” ALMOST appealing… but not really. Subway sucks regardless, Mr. Sub is good, but a distant second from Quiznos. Subway is to a submarine sandwich what M&M meats are to real meat. Assume that the tards that came up with this idea aren’t aware of the evil monkey on Family Guy?

    Probably the same marketing company that came up with “seafood sizzle” for The Keg and almost put them out of business. I concur wholeheartedly that the monkey must die, but so should the chain!


  2. I thought I was the only one who wondered wtf a Monkey had to do with Subs..and yes…I find the commercials maddeningly irritating! I used to enjoy getting a Subway sandwich every once in a while…but have sworn off of ever spending a dime there again until they get rid of that damned chimp!


  4. I personally agree with you all…i hate tha f****** monkey and i also think that every comercial like these who made commercial pub using cheap animated character like subway (probably for saving money instead of paying real actors) should be bring to martial court and to be forced to watch there own comercial until death!!!

  5. Ive always thought and have asked a few times as well as in what the hell does a monkey have to do with subway lol.

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