On my ever-growing list of things I hate, the monkey in the Subway Fresh Energy commercials ranks somewhere near the top. For some unexplained reason, Subway has been using the little creature for the past several years as a way of pushing the “healthy menu” options. But I can’t stand him and every time I see his beady little eyes at the start of an ad, I reach for the remote so fast, that I’m sure I’m setting a speed record of sorts.
I wish I had been in the room as part of a focus group when that commerical was first screened. People would still be sitting around listening to why I hate that monkey and how I fly into a fit of anger when I see him. And while I can’t pinpoint just one reason why I hate him so much, you can be sure that “annoying”, “ugly” and “worthy of having his head smashed in” might come up if I was asked.
Then there’s the obvious question that nobody can seem to answer: WHAT DOES A MONKEY HAVE TO TO WITH SUBWAY? Last time I checked, monkeys throw their own crap at each other and people. Do you really want to send that kind of message when talking about “eating fresh”?
Without a word of a lie, I have stopped going to Subway because of these commercials. The monkey is reason enough to make me want to go somewhere else or die of starvation. That’s how annoying he is.
So please, Subway, from a girl who has enjoyed your subs for the better part of the last 20 years, it’s time to kill off the monkey.