With nothing better to do the other night and still on the road to recovery, I decided I would finally put to test that long standing slogan from Kraft for their Delissio frozen pizza (Known as DiGiorno pizza in the United States) The promise they make in their annoying commercials is “it’s not delivery it’s Deslissio/DiGiorno“. Meaning of course that you as a pizza connoisseur, will not be able to tell the difference between the stuff Pizza Hut brings to your door, and the frozen pie Kraft offers you.
I always figured if this claim is true, then you, as a legally retarded person, think reality shows are real, professional wrestling is a sport, are shocked every time Darth Vader tells Luke “I am your father” and believe that Sarah Palin was a good choice for the Republican party.
After all, I was born and raised in New Jersey – and there’s one thing Jersey Girls know,it’s pizza.
A trip to the grocery store and seven dollars later, my pizza had “arrived.” Please note the triangle hole in the box showcasing all the meat you will find on the 3 Meat Pizza. (Yes, because nothing says “butcher-fresh goodness” like shrink-wrapped mini meatballs and half a sausage slice.)
So my “at home” adventure begins. I preheat the oven and remove the Delissio pizza from its box. I kept thinking that maybe I should ring the doorbell, just for effect. (I was saddened to learn the box does not open with a flip-top the way a real pizza delivery box as seen in the commercials.)
In the oven the pizza goes, cooking for some astronomical amount of time in which I probably could have ordered pizza from various pizza places and had the steaming hot pies arrive and eaten them before the only-slightly-larger-than-a-dinner-plate pizza in my oven was ready.
After what seems like forever, the pizza is finally cooked…
Okay, I’ll say this much about it; it wasn’t bad at all. Consider that I paid less than $10 for it, I was only cooking for myself and I honestly didn’t feel like doing the whole delivery thing, Delissio scores “above average” in my books. Then again, I really haven’t had frozen pizza since I was a starving student back in 1995, so my basis for comparison is a cross between “limited” and “fuzzy”. Still, Delissio was better than I remember most frozen pizzas being.
Would I get it again? It’s fair to say that I would. Did I start a fight with my fellow Italian stereotypes over their stubborn refusal to believe it’s not delivery or let some nerdy kid dressed up as a pizza guy into my swank party because he made me think that some frozen pie was actually from a real pizzeria? No.