Month: February 2009

it’s not delivery – and it’s not fooling anyone

With nothing better to do the other night and still on the road to recovery, I decided I would finally put to test that long standing slogan from Kraft for their Delissio frozen pizza (Known as DiGiorno pizza in the United States)  The promise they make in their annoying commercials isit’s not delivery it’s Deslissio/DiGiorno“. Meaning of course that you as a pizza connoisseur, will not be able to tell the difference between the stuff Pizza Hut brings to your door, and the frozen pie Kraft offers you.

I always figured if this claim is true, then you, as a legally retarded person, think reality shows are real, professional wrestling is a sport, are shocked every time Darth Vader tells Luke “I am your father” and believe that Sarah Palin was a good choice for the Republican party.

After all, I was born and raised in New Jersey – and there’s one thing Jersey Girls know,it’s pizza.

A trip to the grocery store and seven dollars later, my pizza had “arrived.” Please note the triangle hole in the box showcasing all the meat you will find on the 3 Meat Pizza.  (Yes, because nothing says “butcher-fresh goodness” like shrink-wrapped mini meatballs and half a sausage slice.)

delissio pizza

So my “at home” adventure begins. I preheat the oven and remove the Delissio pizza from its box.  I kept thinking that maybe I should ring the doorbell, just for effect.  (I was saddened to learn the box does not open with a flip-top the way a real pizza delivery box as seen in the commercials.)

delissio pizza

In the oven the pizza goes, cooking for some astronomical amount of time in which I probably could have ordered pizza from various pizza places and had the steaming hot pies arrive and eaten them before the only-slightly-larger-than-a-dinner-plate pizza in my oven was ready.


After what seems like forever, the pizza is finally cooked…


Okay, I’ll say this much about it;  it wasn’t bad at all.  Consider that I paid less than $10 for it, I was only cooking for myself and I honestly didn’t feel like doing the whole delivery thing, Delissio scores “above average” in my books. Then again, I really haven’t had frozen pizza since I was a starving student back in 1995, so my basis for comparison is a cross between “limited” and “fuzzy”.  Still, Delissio was better than I remember most frozen pizzas being.

Would I get it again? It’s fair to say that I would. Did I start a fight with my fellow Italian stereotypes over their stubborn refusal to believe it’s not delivery or let some nerdy kid dressed up as a pizza guy into my swank party because he made me think that some frozen pie was actually from a real pizzeria?  No.


bell canada bends me over – one tweet at a time

bellI was all happy because as a  Bell Mobile customer, it appeared that finally the day of being the Dog instead of the Hydrant had arrived.  With the popularity of iPhone and all the applications you can get, Rogers seemed to own the smartphone market.  But then Bell struck back.  They became first (and currently the only) mobile provider to offer SMS Twitter updates — something Rogers and other Canadian mobile providers haven’t been able to do since Twitter stopped offering the service to Canadians.

So naturally, I stuck it in everyone’s face, singing the praises of MY mobile provider FINALLY caring about their customers and how much better Bell was than Rogers.  And so on.  (I’m sure you’re well aware of how the Victory Dance goes.  It looks especially good when done in leather pants, by the way…)

But like all good things, that came to an end – and pretty fast too.  It was announced on Wednesday that Bell Canada will be charging 15 cents for every Tweet sent via Text message and every Tweet received — even if your mobile plan includes unlimited text messages.

So where does that leave Samsung Instinct users like myself who subscribe to Bell?  Up the creek without a paddle. Bent over the kitchen sink like a goat in Greece.  Out of luck… (oh, hell, you get where I’m going with this one…)

Way to go, Bell.  Thanks for being a bunch of douche-bags.  And cheap ones too.

Rogers customers who own iPhones and Blackberries have since discovered the wonders of Twitterberry and similar applications that have been a smart way around the no SMS Twitter problem here in Canada. Bell, however, found a way to once again stick it to the customer.  Just when I thought they were finally “getting it” and actually respecting the people who line their pockets.

UPDATE: It seems that Bell has bowed to public pressure and now lets their subscribers use Twitter without any additional charges.  I received an email stating that Bell spokespeople have confirmed this, but I shall wait – or maybe find out for myself – just to be sure.

clean bill of health

So yesterday I did what I had to do in order to get the bottom of my “mysterious illness”:  I went to the doctor and discovered that I’m not actually dying. (From what I was told, I’m actually far from it – although it wouldn’t hurt if I got into better shape and maybe added more vegetables to my diet.)

Turns out I have Vertigo – a very common occurrence that follows flu-like illness and has something to do a viral infection. I honestly kinda tuned out after I heard what I wanted to hear and found out that I wasn’t suffering from some incurable disease.

What I have to do now is to continue to get as much rest as possible, not to overexert myself with work or other things that could cause strain and to just wait it out.  The final remaining traces of Vertigo should clear up before the end of next week.

I never saw myself as one who overreacts when it comes to illness and automatically thinks the worst, but having a reoccurring dizzy sensation can sometimes play tricks on your mind.

fanboys movie in toronto? don’t hold your breath

fanboysThere’s one movie I’ve been eagerly awaiting for the past two years and that’s Fanboys.  The story of a group of friends who desperately want to see Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace before it opens. (Apparently they had no clue who Jar Jar Binks was at this point.)

The film grabbed my attention when both my sister and a friend’s brother showed me the trailer, knowing my full-on love for all things Star Wars. (Really, watch it right now and tell me you don’t want to see this movie.)  I was hooked and practically camped out in front of my local cinema awaiting the release.

Well, weeks became months and months became years – but finally Fanboys got its release.  And guess what? It’s not playing in Toronto.  Hell, it’s not even playing in Canada.

It’s playing at “select cinemas” in a “limited release” with more screens being added as the weeks go on.  But still, the biggest city in Canada ends up with squat? That doesn’t seem fair to me.  Russia, Iceland and Singapore of all places have releases lined up, but nothing here yet.  And what really pisses me off is the fact that there’s a big enough fan base here of people who want to see the movie.

At this point I might as well just wait for the Blu-Ray.

But I shouldn’t have to.  I’ve waited for two years for this movie.  And now I’m told that I have to email the Weinstein Company and suggest that the film be released here?  There was a tease that Toronto was on the February 20th release list, but it turned out to be false.  In fact, one of the film’s writers saw my Twitter posting and emailed me to ask where I heard that.  Again, it was confirmed to be nothing more than a rumor.

So I sit and wait for Toronto finally get a Fanboys screening. Or at least one to come to Buffalo or a nearby city.  I’ve waited this long, what’s another few months?

stop trying to make “rappies” happen, rick

I was doing something the other day that I don’t normally do – and that’s listen to 1010 CFRB-AM.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Bill Carroll and (most of) his opinions, and on a good day I can stomach John Moore, but the chance of hearing one of their bush league reporters bumble through another newscast has me avoiding the station at most times.

Be that as it may, I happen to catch a sports report from Rick Hodge who last year joined Carroll in the morning.  And what should grab my attention? His use of the word “Rappies“.

raptorsNow, at 7-something in the morning, I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box, so it took me a few seconds before I figured out what Hodge was talking about.  He meant “The Raptors” — as in the National Basketball Association team that has been playing in this city for something like 14 years now. If they were going to coin a nickname, it would have happened by now.  And it sure as hell wouldn’t be “Rappies”

See, what Hodge was trying to is what every journalist dreams of doing — and that’s coming up with a nickname for a team or sports building that sooner or later, everyone will use.  (Kind of like how in Chicago, US Cellular Field is called “The Cell”, or the Dunkin Donuts Center is called “the Dunk”.)  Montreal Gazette columnist Jack Todd tried it years ago.  He tried calling the then-named Molson Centre “the Keg” – until a certain steakhouse told him to get a clue (or cease and desist – whatever it said on the lawyer’s letter.)

Turns out after asking around, Hodge has been trying to make “Rappies” happen now for some time – but I don’t think it’s working.  And it certainly sounds dumb. Reminds me of that scene in Mean Girls when Gretchen Weiners is trying to make the word “fetch” happen to no avail until she is finally scolded by one of her friends

Way I see it, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. (But you should also know when to throw in the towel.)  Nickname creation isn’t for everyone.  Hell, I’m still trying to get everyone to call a certain Desperate Housewife “Eva Longwhoria.” (It’s slowly catching on, I tell ya.)

I can’t blame a guy for trying, but besides don’t the Raptors already have a nickname? Aren’t they called The Unlovable Losers The Dinos?

something to think about

While I’m on what I hope is the road to recovery from whatever it is that ails me, I figured I would pass along something important to everyone out there.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth mentioning again.  The Fresh Air Fund, an independent, not-for-profit agency, that has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million children from low-income communities, is looking for some host families this summer. Host families are volunteers who open their hearts and home to a child from the city to give a fresh air experience that disadvantaged children never forget.

The areas where host families are needed include New England, New York state, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia and Southern Ontario.  Just something to keep in mind if you’re thinking about doing something charitable this summer.

It’s a great opertunity to give a child a fun summer that he or she might not have otherwise.  You can also donate to the Fresh Air Fund if you like.

whatever doesn’t kill you…

So for the last few days, I was sure I was dying.  And honestly folks, I’m still not out of the woods just yet.  As it turns out, there’s a bug going ’round that seems to target persons with over active imaginations, giving them the ability to convince themselves that a simply flu-like cold coupled with being lightheaded means they are one step away from death’s door.

As sadistic as it sounds, I was quite relieved when I found out I wasn’t the only one going through this. (At worst case I figured I would have someone else to share a hospital room with if it came down to that.)

The bottom line is I have “dizziness“. It started out as a normal cold last week, but then progressed to being dizzy and feeling weak and faint when I would sit up fast or move my head.  For the most part, I haven’t said much about it to anyone – namely for fear that they would say “Oh, you should go get that checked out” which almost always (in my mind) leads to the discovery of something much worse.