Month: April 2005

Spring cleaning has begun

So I purged about 1GB of crap from my computer yesterday. (Just what is a “GB”, you might be asking? For the Computer Dumb-asses like myself, 1 GB is 1 gigabyte, which equals 1,024 megabytes. Or, for the real technical people out there, 1,073,741,824 normal Bytes are equal to 1 Gigabyte. Which, when you bottom line it, is a lot of stuff.)

It was my way of unofficially starting my spring cleaning. How can one person have 1GB of junk worth throwing out on a computer? It’s easy. There are two simple steps I’ll share with you. 1)Get high speed internet. 2)Download anything and everything you can.

But now, after transferring pictures, files and songs to CDs for storage, everything else that was deemed useless (such as a downloaded copy of the dancing fat guying) went into the Desktop Recycle Bin. Did you know that after 200 items, it no longer asks you “Do you wish to delete the 200 items in your Recycle Bin?” but rather just says “Do you wish to delete all the items in your Recycle Bin?” I took this as a hint that there was too much crap and the deleting was a necessary evil.

I don’t know why I felt the need to keep so much on my hard drive. After losing all my work back in 1992, I learned to back everything up on those small plastic “floppy” discs. And now with the speed of a CD-writer, there’s no reason not to back stuff up. I guess I’m just lazy and I like having everything at my finger tips, rather than having to put a disc in a drive and go looking for a file.

That being said and done, my spring cleaning is underway, so watch out ugly, old ‘n busted crap, your days around my house (and my computer) are numbered.

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Another lackluster day

I feel I’m totally letting everyone down. It’s one of those weeks where I’m in a total slump and I’m letting my journal or diary or blog or whatever you want to call this thing, fall by the wayside. Normally I’d have some cool and interesting things to tell you, but frankly, I can’t even think of stuff to make-up at this point.

It’s not that my life is totally dull – it’s just that this week is not as exciting for me as others have been, yet ironically enough there’s been so much going on.

Aside from all the talk about the new Pope, let’s focus on a few things locally. There’s a good chance I’ll be selling a few short stories to a couple magazines. I’ve lost almost four pounds. And despite all the beer-fueled mayhem from last time, I’ve been invited back to the Media Lounge at the Stadium Formerly Known as SkyDome for a Blue Jays game tonight. It’s not like I’m strapped for things to write about. It’s just I don’t have the desire – or at least the style – to make any of that interesting.

But then again, isn’t that what a “blog” is all about? Writing whatever comes to mind. That even someone’s suffering and lackluster week could be seen as entertainment for others. After all, “reality” shows are total shit, but there are some people who find that stuff fun to watch. So maybe the fact that I have said absolutely nothing amazing, yet you are still reading, means that you are nice enough to find what I have to say worthwhile? If that’s the case, then thank you kindly.

A lot of people seem to think that since I work in the media and I’m a journalist that my life is at par with Lois Lane (minus the whole Superman thing) or straight out of the movie Network. (Classic film. You should see it if you haven’t already.) Or that since I’m a columnist, I must be like Carrie Bradshaw and my days are filled with martinis and slutty friends. Okay, that might be slightly true. At least the martini part. And it’s not every day. Just some once in a while.

But with the amount of people out there who have blogs and don’t work in the industry, it stands to reason that they all have interesting lives worth reading about. Or at least so they think. And chances are it’s true. It’s what you do with your life and how you tell the stories that makes things fun. Maybe I either need to find a better way of telling it, or throw some adventure in there now and again.

Now that I’ve gone and said my piece, here’s hoping that tomorrow’s little update will be more interesting and fun. Of course there’s always next week. Who knows what’s right around the corner.

A wrinkle in time

A reader named Jeff dropped me a line over the weekend and mentioned in his email that he noticed how Toronto is now the place I have lived the second longest in Canada, following my second stint in Montreal than clocked in at just under four years. It makes sense too seeing as how this May I will have been in ‘The Big Smoke’ for three years. Funny how time flies.

Just in case a few of you weren’t sure how Toronto sprung ahead, here’s the breakdown of my travels and places I have hung my hat:

New Jersey: 1974-1995 (20 years)
Montreal: 1995-1997 (2 years, 4 months)
Ottawa: 1997 (6 months)
Toronto: 1997-1998 (6 months)
Montreal: 1998-2002 (3 years, 11 months)
Toronto: 2002-present (3 years this May)

Sure, New Jersey still holds the title for the place I have lived the longest, but Jeff did say “in Canada” and unless I end up moving away before next year, Toronto will eclipse Montreal. Could this mean I’m finally settling down, accepting the whole “thirty-something” lifestyle and wanting to start a family? I can only wonder.

Mad Max no more

So The Patriot was on TBS (yet again) this weekend. It seemed for a while the movie was showing like a screen-saver on that network. So far, this weekend was the only screening this year that I know of, which is much better than the twice a day, back-to-back evening and then again on Sunday airings the flick got the first time it was shown on cable.

If you’ve never seen it, congratulations. You have 167 minutes of your life to do with as you please. That’s 167 minutes that many others don’t have anymore. I guess as far as war movies go, it’s not bad, but that doesn’t mean it’s great either. Honestly, there is about 10 minutes of film worth watching, which leaves you with 157 minutes to do anything else. Like maybe watch something else instead.

What it should have been called was “This Movie Wishes it Was Braveheart – But It Isn’t – So Don’t Waste Your Time.” And now Mel Gibson has become all “Important Director Man” by making The Passion of The Christ, which means honestly folks, we will never see a Lethal Weapon 5 at this rate.

Remember when Mel was that bright-eyed Aussie boy making such laughable efforts as Air America with Robert Downey Jr. and Bird on a Wire? Then came his attempt at “serious stuff” like Hamlet and The Man Without a Face? Ah, those were the days. That was all before he got his taste for Oscar and decided that a crazy-ass cop making Three Stooges noises and pulling his partner off an exploding toilet or punching Joe Pesci in the face was above him.

It’s a Numa Numa Day

Today isĀ  a friend of mine’s last day at a job he hated. On Monday he officially joins the ranks of the Government of Ontario and I wish him all the best.

It’s also Friday and that means another weekend is upon us. I really wish there was something more I could say to go along with that, but frankly, what more needs to be said when the word “weekend” is in there?

Laundry day went well yesterday, thanks for asking. I still have to finish putting away my socks, but they’re always the last to go into the drawers.

If you can’t think of anything else to do, and you haven’t already seen this, then check it out and have a happy Friday. It’s amazing how much happiness and joy a fat guy sitting in front of his computer, lip syncing a song on web-cam can bring to people around the world. Now, I don’t want to over-sell it, so judge for yourself. Click HERE

Feeling very fresh

It’s laundry day today, which means now that I’m home from the newsroom, I can look forward to spending the next few hours of this beautiful afternoon, downstairs in my dark little laundry room.

Sure, it’s a better deal than some people got. For example those who live in apartment buildings without in-suite laundry. They have to go all the way downstairs to the basement or the 9th level of hell (depending where the building managers put the laundry room) and then either wait for a machine to become available or just dump their dirty clothes in the first empty machine they find and hope that it’s clean.

I remember some less than amazing laundry adventures when I lived in Montreal in my college apartment and then for six months in Ottawa. Both times the laundry room was clean but every so often people would forget to empty the lint catcher or forget a sock or something behind. Once I even found a pair of little boy’s underwear that someone hadn’t taken out when their wash was finished. (Insert Michael Jackson joke here. Then again, he probably wouldn’t want to wash them.)

For me now, I just dump everything into the same machine, as long as all the clothes are roughly the same color. Satin blouses get washed, but are taken out and hung to dry in the bathroom afterwards, so as not to have them shrink. Everything else gets to do the laundry-dance in the washer, then the dryer then sit in my spare bedroom until I get around to putting all the clothes away.

The Church’s new Champion

So it’s been about a day now that the Catholic Church has a new leader. In case you’ve been living under a rock, the new Pontiff’s name is Benedict XVI – formerly known as Cardinal Ratzinger.

Turns out (also for those living under a rock) that when a Cardinal is chosen to be the new pope he gets to pick a name. Personally I wish Ratzinger would have chosen Pope Lando II. Yup, Star Wars fans, I’m not making that up. There was in fact a Pope Lando who was around from 913-914AD.

I know, I know… this is a serious time and a very important moment in history and I shouldn’t be equating anything like this to Star Wars, but I still think it would have been cool. Besides, ever since seeing the movie Eurotrip, I can’t help but snicker every time someone mentions the idea of a new pope. (See picture below) Watch the movie if you haven’t already. I’m sure his Holiness would have found it funny too. Well, maybe not. But it’s still a funny film.

It’s not that I’m against the new pope in anyway. I’m sure he’ll do a fine job. It’s just I was hoping for someone who wasn’t seen as such a “hardliner”. People were hoping for change in the Catholic Church and I don’t know if Pope Benedict XVI will bring that or not.

Besides, I grew up only really knowing Pope John Paul II and he was so loved by everyone, it’s tough to get used to a new guy in charge. But I guess it’s best compared to the world of wrestling. Back in 1993 you just had to accept Bret Hart as champion, even though Hulk Hogan was still everyone’s favorite.

Okay. Now you know I’m going to hell.