Super Size this!

This is the kind of email I get every so often. A reader wrote to me asking if there was any truth the rumor that once, in the world of McDonald’s, the character of purple Grimace had four arms.

I don’t know why bother to find these things, but just because I had some time on my hands, I decided to look into this. And yes, as you can see from the rather scary picture below, Grimace did in fact once have four arms. He was also known as “the Evil Grimace”. Nothing like being branded for life and mapping out your future with a name like that. But I guess he wasn’t evil enough because over the years he lost his extra two arms and became good. Now of course, Hamburgler is the bad guy.

You can tell from this masterpiece of art, the “evil Grimace” has stolen all the shakes and Cokes from McDonald’s and is holding them in his four arms. Please also note that he is poorly named as he doesn’t seem to be “grimacing” at all, but rather smiling like a guy who just got a handjob from Paris Hilton.

Further more Mayor McCheese and Ronald McDonald (who I always believed to be in a power struggle over who really controls McDonald’s) don’t seem too upset by this. Actually, the Mayor might be pissed, but Ronald’s got that ever-present smile on his mug. Then again, would you really be upset about some missing shakes if you had a friend who’s head was a cheeseburger that was the size of a breakfast table? Me neither.

As luck (or bad luck) would have it, I also came across what I can best make out to be a promotional video of The Evil Grimace stealing Cokes and shakes from the kids at McDonalds. Now, I must warn you. Much like the “Son of the Mask” this idea only sounds good on paper. Keep in mind this clip is from 1974. You’ve been warned.

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