First update of the year

What to say… what to say… It’s now 2005 pretty much all over the world. I did my Year in Review and – what a shock – it’s actually on line around the same time it was in print. Of course there are still a few other columns left over from 2004 that never made it on this site, so sometime when nobody is looking, I’ll sneak them on and you’ll never know. Muhahahahahaha (First evil laugh of 2005)

Yup, it’s also that time to start logging in all the “firsts” of the new year. First time you walk the dog, first time you eat take-out, first time you use the bathroom. Naturally if you’re still doing this come the middle of February, then you’re a bigger tool than I am. I normally knock it off around the same time I’m driving home and cursing the other drivers and I lose track of what I’m counting. (First time in the new year I flipped of a guy in a Malibu… First time I flipped off a woman in a mini-van… First time an SUV cut me off and then I cut him off and flipped him off…) The madness continues my friends… the madness continues.

Did I make an resolutions for this year? None that are any different than the ones I made last year, so why bother. Come July I’ll be back to my old self and everyone in my path will feel my wrath. However I am trying to calm down a bit more when things that are beyond my control go wrong. That way when something really bad happens, I can let lose with a string of swear words that would make Andrew Dice Clay and all the members of N.W.A. blush.
But because people expect it, here goes my quick list of resolutions I want to keep for the new year

  • Be less angry and more tolerant towards other drivers, people in Toronto and animals who are more stupid than I am.
  • Work out at the gym at least two or three times a week.
  • Stop drinking soda all the time and maybe lose a skirt size by July.
  • Finally buy new Beetle and stop wasting update space talking about it all the time.
  • Clean out basement and take that old box of crap to Goodwill.
  • Meet all deadlines.

I guess that’s about it. I figure I should at least set goals I actually stand a chance of reaching rather than say something stupid and have it fall back and hit me in the face before the end of the month. So here’s to the next 12 months and the wonder of what will happen to me this year. It doesn’t seem that long ago that we all rang in 2004 and honestly that just flew right by. So here’s hoping that it happens all over again. Except for the bad stuff. I can live without all that crap.


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