Cougar mail

So I get this email from an “older woman” who read my recent column. How do I know she’s older? I’ll explain in a second. The first thing that went through my mind when I read the letter was “Hey, people are not only reading my columns, but writing about them too. Cool.” Then I bothered to actually read what she was writing. Turns out she had a beef with the last paragraph of the column where I so boldly stated that older women have no choice but to consider becoming a cougar if they want to get a man… or something like that.

I basically said that – and this was her understanding of my column – that as a woman gets older she has no chance of either 1) holding on to her man because younger women will lure him away, or 2) if you’re older and single, then nobody’s going to want you except horny, younger men in their 20’s who get their rocks off just telling people they were with an older woman.

I can understand why she felt this way. The column does come off sounding like that, doesn’t it? Well, that was sort of my intention, but not necessarily how I feel. After all, I will be an “older woman” in just over a month and I am also single. Becoming a Cougar doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. But the woman who wrote the letter needs not worry. As she then went on to tell me, she’s an older woman who’s been in a great relationship for years now with her husband. That’s great to hear. Good for her. To her credit she didn’t go on and gush about how wonderful her hubby is.

The point I was making with my latest column was that when people go on and on about their relationship, it serves them right when something goes south. I don’t feel sorry for them at all. Being “in love” is a great feeling, but for crying out loud, keep it to yourself otherwise you look like a knob when things tank. And given the track record of most of my friends and the people in Hollywood, it will tank.

So Emily, thanks for writing in. Glad to hear about your marriage. Thanks for not pouring on the love about how happy you are and it’s a shame you were offended by what I wrote. I don’t feel sorry for it, after all it is MY column. I’m sure there are many older women who have relationship that last and don’t have to worry about becoming a cougar. But for those who don’t, come see me. I’ll be the girl at the end of the bar with the leather pants on drinking raspberry coolers.


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